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How to learn to love myself?

Loving yourself necessitates cultivating and nurturing self-respect. This is the sole internal source of creating love in your own life that you can subsequently share with others. On the contrary, when you’re dependent on the love that comes from an external source, and something or someone that doesn’t fulfill the fantasies and void in your life, then you’re certain to feel much worse than you were feeling before. Therefore, only when you fully understand the effects of loving yourself genuinely, you’ll develop the ability to love others whole-heartedly.
 

Treat others with respect and love

Bringing delight and happiness to other people around you helps you discover the joy in your own life. Besides, you’ll find that the people whom you treat well will unfailingly repay your generosity and kindness. In the course of time, you’ll undoubtedly realize your value through other people’s smiles of gratitude. Nevertheless, don’t be kind to people anticipating that they’ll reciprocate similar kindness towards you. Develop respect and love towards others without any selfish motives and interests.

Obliterate events of the past from your mind

Begin your life afresh. Don’t permit yourself to be bogged down by disappointments, fears of ridicule, and grief. There’s nothing wrong in acknowledging your feelings. However, work diligently to put all of them behind you. Cherish the things that the unique challenges in your life have taught you. Forgive the people in your life who have wronged you. Above all, forgive yourself.

Learn to say “No”

Never feel guilty about having to say “no” to people whom you don’t feel like helping. Understand that you have every right to refuse as this is quite different from doing favors out of love. Whenever you aren’t willing to do a favor to a person from deep within your heart, you should follow your conviction. Avoid pleasing others by over-extending yourself. You’ll surely hurt yourself if you try to please everyone. Learn to say “no” graciously and sincerely.

Focus on your strengths

If you give more attention to what you can do best, you’ll have a lot of fun doing so as opposed to hating yourself for taking a snail’s pace at trying to address your weaknesses. If you can bake delicious cakes, do more research on how to improve your designs and practice a lot to get the desired texture. Just hire a cleaning lady to tidy up your home if organization is not one of your best assets.

Display positive statements prominently in your room

Statements like “I am absolutely selfless”, or “I have tremendous courage to overcome challenging situations” will motivate you every day. Write down statements that remind you of everything you love about yourself. Read them aloud several times in a day. Employ sticky notes to remind you of these encouraging affirmations and motivating attributes.

Look beyond material things

All of us desire a wonderful house, a bigger car, the best things, and an ideal life-mate. Contemplate your real wants objectively. Avoid hiding the truth from yourself. Figure out what you genuinely want for yourself. You can learn to love yourself only when you answer all these important questions honestly. Remind yourself frequently that you’re worth loving.

Be persistent

Learn to love and accept yourself just the way you are. A major part of love is about accepting another person just as that person is. Only after you accept yourself, you’ll be able to change your inherent undesirable characteristics.

Don’t let hurtful words affect you

Hurtful words have only one target - to make you feel sorry for yourself. If someone tries to bully you by commenting on how dowdy you look, Don’t pay attention. Think of happy thoughts, warm summers, beautiful flowers, etc. Your aggressor will leave you once he finds that he doesn’t have any effect on you.

Improve your physical appearance

Let’s face it - outer appearances do matter in this world where beauty reigns supreme. If you are a woman, have a haircut in a reputable salon, practice applying makeup and lose or gain weight accordingly. You’ll definitely love yourself when somebody praises you for looking so good.

Maintain a journal

Write in your journal about all your good and bad experiences. As you reminisce about your good experiences, permit yourself to feel them intensely. Likewise, when you recall bad experiences, permit yourself to endure self-compassion. Compassion permits you to be present with your pain profoundly, acknowledge your pain clearly, and release your pain permanently.

Be kind to yourself

You deserve everything good and nice. Treat yourself to a foot spa, buy a good book or anything that can make you feel good. Love is kindness. Be the first recipient of your love.
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